When I got up and went to the gym on Saturday, there was a very hot guy there, whom I had never seen before. Let's call him Guido. Since I switched to the YMCA due to getting a massive discount from work, I had given up on there ever being any truly hot guys there because I was so spoiled by my previous gym, which was on a college campus. The crowd at the Y is generally older, settled, and female, though there are some cute guys. Before you think I'm a big perv, yes, I appreciate the eye candy, and I also like to see what sort of workout they're doing so I can modify mine own. Outside of that, I am not in the shower trying to get a hookup.
Anyway, Saturday was a legs day for me, and Guido was obviously doing more of a total body, superset type workout that generally drives me bonkers. We were doing different stuff so we didn't interfere with each other. Now, yesterday morning, Guido was in the gym. There were maybe 4 of us in the place. He was off doing the weighted row and some tricep pulldowns on the other side of the room. It was a majority arms day for me. So I went to the preachers bench which held the EZ curl bar. Well, apparently I had interfered with his superset, because he promptly came over and took the bar off the preachers bench, even though I was standing right next to it getting ready to use it. Ah, so Guido is an asshole, too. Perfect! He proceeded to grunt and strain like he was some pig routing for truffles, and then he set the bar down and started his rotation again, with a glance back to "mark his territory." Now, while I may not be at my best as far as weights right now, I am certainly no weakling. Instead of taking off the weight he was doing to stay in my program, I just proceeded to take the bar and do MY workout sans grunting. He literally came over, huffed, grabbed his towel and left gym. Asshole! (but still hot).
So, along with the above, here are some other annoyances from the gym:
Stink Bomb
There is a guy who works out in the morning, and he insists on doing his cardio before coming down to the weight room. This is all fine and dandy, but when he does arrive he is sopping wet and smells like a festering pile of raw sewage. I am not exaggerating that I can smell him from 20 feet away. I realize that we're all pretty prissy about our smells. Certainly, the people in the middle ages didn't know they smelled like the contents of a colon, but seriously, if you can't smell yourself when it is that bad, you really need to get your senses checked. Not to mention he uses equipment and will wipe his brow but NOT the bench.
Chatty Cathy
These are usually "gym partners," who are basically so unmotivated they need someone else to prod them to go to the gym. Do us a favor, if you can't make yourself go, then maybe you're just destined to be a fat ass. Certainly, if you do go, PLEASE do not stand around between sets and discuss stuff. Working out is about intensity, and if you're standing there talking about "America's Next Top Model," you're not fooling anyone. I am there to do one thing, and that is workout. If you want to stand around and essentially do each others hair, then do it on your own time.
Walker, Texas Ranger
This person is generally at the gym when I arrive and still there when I leave. They will do one exercise, and then proceed to get up and walk around the weight room like they're trying to reach their goal on the pedometer. They may even leave their towel there as a sign that no one else can take it. I've been known to knock towels off and feign ignorance when they say "I was using that machine." Asshole...
The Screamer & Tourettes
These two go hand in hand, and could also be the same person. The screamer is the type of person that will make noises like Monica Seles no matter how little weight he is lifting. Tourettes will load up the bar with so much weight, make a big production about it, and then proceed to spout expletives (maybe even scream them) like everyone in the gym gives a rats ass that he's a certifiable idiot.
I could go on and on...
3 comments:
Ugh - things I do not miss about the gym.
Dudes are so weird.
"I appreciate the eye candy..." I too appreciate the eye candy and it is actually inspiration for me to workout.
I *heart* your descriptions of the people at the gym.
You forgot about one that drives me crazy.. and that's the person that talks on their cell phone while they are in the gym. Trust me you're not that important to have to either walk round the gym on talk on the treadmill with your cell phone.
I use to yell at my buddy because he would bring his phone into the workout room with him and say he has to be on call all the time (no he's not a doctor).
I had to tell him that if he's working out with me cell phones are not allowed (nore is chewing gum but that's my personal choice).
That was around the last time we worked out together. Now he pays a trainer that has him doing the same thing I told him to do. I guess he could not take it hearing it from me.
Post a Comment