Friday, October 12, 2007 - A French Lick Fantasia

I decided to make this its own post, because it is probably going to be a long one. If you are interested in my Thursday, then you can scroll down to after this or click here.

Anyway, picking up after my Monday post, in the aftermath of Romeo falling down the stairs and passing out on my couch, I set the alarm for 7:00 am on Sunday so that we could be ready to leave at 9:00 when Blanche got to my place. Of course, Romeo was still blotto and contorted on the couch, and I am pretty sure he didn't know where he was, which really kind of made me giggle. He didn't know why I was up so early, and he though he had to go to work that day, which obviously wasn't the case. When he emerged from under the pillow, I noticed that he had big patches of rug burn ON HIS FACE, and under the rip in his pirate pants was a giant swollen cut and bruise. It literally looked like he had another knee beneath his knee. Kinda gross. He decided that he was okay to go to the Lick, and we proceeded to laugh every five minutes about the events of the previous night.

A little about French Lick. It is a pretty small town in Southern Indiana, and believe it or not, it is and always has been a resort town, though for the longest time the resorts were pretty run down. During their heyday back in the early part of the century, everyone from President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Al Capone were attracted to the opulence of the two resorts there, The French Lick Resort and West Baden Springs Resort. The main attraction was the natural sulfur springs and its laxative (yep, people came to poop) and supposed restorative powers. The French Lick Resort has been open continuously throughout the years, but West Baden, which used to be the worlds largest free standing dome before the Astrodome in Houston was built, closed down and opened as everything from a university to a monastery before falling into disrepair and eventually almost collapsing. French Lick and all of Orange County fell into economic distress, and they tried for years to get a casino license to save their town, even though in Indiana for a casino to operate it has to be a riverboat on a body of water and French Lick is the definition of landlocked. A few years ago, French Lick finally received the authorization to to build a casino, and the changes began in earnest. The casino was built in small bond (ha!) at the French Lick Resort, and the entire hotel was renovated and restored, and recently, the West Baden Springs Resort re-opened to much fanfare. I will have pictures of it later on in the post.

Okay, enough of the history lesson. Blanche arrive at 9, and we hobbled down the stairs to pile in my car and head to the Lick. It was a pretty fun trip down. We did make a stop for breakfast and to fill the gas tank, and I was happy to find a giant piece of beef jerky that will be given as a White Elephant gift at our annual Christmas Party. You've gotta love the crap you can find at truck stops. Along the way, we discussed the upcoming Halloween Festivities. As I have explained in other posts, Halloween has almost become a month long event, and you absolutely cannot wear the same costume to all your events. For the Bag Lady Bus Tour, which I mentioned in the first post from today, Blanch and Romeo will be doing drag, but since I look horrible in drag and I do not really want to put forth the effort to do it well, I am going as Sweeney Todd. We all have to come up with drag names for the trip though, and we came up with some funny ones. I won't reveal them here yet, because I think Blanch wants to keep hers a secret for now. The idea for Romeo's came from a random comment he made, which made me fear that maybe he had a concussion. For instance, he referred to the gazebo built around the sulfer well at The French Lick Resort as the "Stinky Pagoda," which we decided would be an excellent drag name for him, and he also said that Ann Coulter wished to have a "fatwad" declared upon her, which made more sense when we realized he meant fatwa. Needless to say, Romeo was the entertainment portion of the trip.

Along with touring the recently re-opened West Baden Springs resort and gambling a little, we were meeting Blanche's parents in French Lick to watch the annual Pumpkin Festival parade, and we have been instructed to "butch it up" so as not to out Blanche to his parents. Anyone who knows him, would have to think his parents are blind to not realize that their 35 year old son is gay, but when you take into consideration that most small town dwellers probably think gays are either leather clad waltzers at the Blue Oyster Bar or raving Drag Queens, it is not really outside the realm. We're not exactly fem or anything, but it is amazing how much you fall into gay colloquialisms when you cannot use them anymore. So, it was a mildly entertaining day just making sure we don't let out an errant "GURL!"

We started out at West Baden Springs, which is really the main reason I wanted to go. I am a bit of an architecture nut and a frustrated photographer, so I figured there
would be ample opportunity to take some artistic shots. The hotel is absolutely beautiful. They have done a fantastic job restoring it to its former glory, and considering how old it is, it is very much an amazing piece of engineering. The picture to the right is from the back from our parking place. As you walk towards the hotel, you are at once stuck by its sheer size. It really does not feel like you are in Indiana anymore, and if it weren't for the modern cars all around, you could really get a feel for how it was back in its original heyday.

However, the outside does nothing to prepare you for the inside of the hotel. It is really pretty breathtaking. As you can see in the picture, it is next to impossible to get a good picture of the actual size of the atrium, but you can see how diligently it was restored. Be sure to click on the pictures to see the greater detail. I will also put some more pictures from the visit at the end of this entry.

After browsing around the atrium for a while, we ventured outside to take a look at the formal gardens. These were actually the first thing done at the hotel a few years ago to encourage someone to purchase and restore the entire property. While they are very nice, you could tell they have been around a lot longer and needed some TLC. Don't get my wrong, they are still very nice, but it will be nice to see what they do in the spring now that the hotel is completed.

Since it was pretty damn hot, we decided to go and get some dinner at the senior citizen center. Yes, you read that right. The Lion's Club was putting on their annual steak dinner for the Pumpkin Festival, and you could get a large steak, baked beans, cole slaw, and a drink for nine bucks. I am not a big red meat eater, but I have to say, the steak was pretty tasty. Before we ate lunch, we talked with Blanche's parents for a bit and made arrangements on where to meet for the parade. As we made our way to his parent's truck, one of his ex-girlfriends from High School came driving by and practically wrecked into us trying to say "Hi." After she parked, she practically ran to catch up with us, and I have to say I was a little off put by her "Walking for Jesus" shirt. She was pleasant enough, and our first real attempt at butchiness passed with flying colors.

We reached Blanche's parents, and they had decided to catch some shade under a tree instead of sitting in the back of the truck in the sun, and that was an excellent decision. While we were waiting for the parade to start, we were just chit chatting about the happenings in French Lick, while Blanche made is way around to all the people he hadn't seen in a while. We were near the judges stage,which was really just a giant, flatbed tractor trailer truck, and to the right of that was a Subway sandwich shop. Shortly before the parade began a woman rolled up in her motorized wheelchair, and this seemed to get a rise out of Blanche's Mom. It was even weirder when the chair went up on two little wheels so that she could see over the crowd that was not gathered around her (see picture). It was then that we got the gossip about this woman. While you didn't hear it from me, apparently she can walk perfectly well, but she just used the wheelchair for the benefits. Apparently, she even uses it to get into marching band contests for free because she says that she is an official photographer. This to me is the best part about small towns. The gossip. Everyone knows everything about everyone, and they are not afraid to share.

The parade finally starts, and it is pretty much what you would expect. A lot of homemade floats, which were surprisingly good. There seemed to be a queen title for any girl that wanted one, and I thought it was just drag titles that were a dime a dozen. One of the cool floats had the Queens from 1957 on it with the reining Sesquicentennial Queen. Anyway, the float with the Queen and court. You could just sense the current queen saying to herself "My god, these old hags make me look like Miss America!" The highlight of the parade for most of the residents of French Lick was the visit of the Budweiser Clydesdales. Those horses were huge, and as you can imagine, so was their shit. It actually held the parade up while their poop patrol scooped up what they left behind. There were also a lot of church related floats, and by far the weirdest one appeared to have both a cross and a guillotine on it. Very old testament!

Oy vey, I don't think I can write anymore. I have to say it was nice to go to French Lick for the day. I got to see fantastic architecture, local flavor, AND lose $25 at the casino. When you consider that the day started with a half Filipino, half Cherokee, half white man throwing himself down my stairs, it ended up being a pretty good day. I am going to close out with a few more pictures.