final one is shaping up to be worse than the rest of them combined. At least it is due on Tuesday. So, one way or another, I will have to get it done. Of course, August 1st marks the start of the monthly reporting. Yes, I really do feel like the little animation here to the right. Won't someone buy me a drink?!The first part of the week has been pretty uneventful, other than the usual stuff of Tyler being a sweetheart and cooking me dinner last night. I promise to have more to report later on in the weekend.
In the meantime, I still need to talk about last Saturday night. To kick off the month long celebration of Blanche's *cough*25th*cough* birthday, we took a trip to a dive bar here in Indy called Illusions V. I have no idea why it has the Roman Numeral for 5 in its title. I suppose maybe it is the fifth one, which is pretty shocking and appalling because you would think after 5 iterations they could afford paper towel or a hand dryer, NOT one of those old, germ riddled continuous towel thingees. Needless to say, I didn't dry my hands that night. Despite that fact, we periodically go to this place because A) it is where drag queens go to die and B) they serve $5 16oz drinks with pretty much any alcohol you want from well to top shelf. Anyway, if you're anything in the Indy drag scene, you play Talbott Street, but if you're too old to get up the steps or just one step up from strutting in your mirror with a hairbrush, then Illusions has you covered. The occasion for us venturing out this past Saturday night was the birthday/retirement party of one of the oldest (barely) living drag queens in Indianapolis, Ricki Summers. Accompanying us on this adventure was HR, Romeo, Liberty, Stella, Venus, Stripper Mom, and Tyler.
Some would question my sanity for inviting my girls to go to a place like this. It really is kind of a dive bar, and it is not really in a great part of town. However, this is one of those places where seeing is believing, and I have talked about it enough that I needed to prove that indeed, strange things do happen to me on a regular basis. For instance, going to a birthday/retirement party of a drag queen who more than likely entertained Nefertiti. To say Ricki is old is pretty much an understatement. Her hill jack son (who looked about 50 himself) was there with his current woman, this very large girl in a skin tight lycra dress, that was cut so high that she unfortunately exposed her hoo ha to me on one of my trips back from the restroom (dripping hands and all). Additionally, to prove Ricki's age, her
granddaughter was there, too. Let's take a step back a moment and consider this... Okay, I don't think there is really more for me to add there. However, I am conjuring an image of my grandfather in a dress, and it ain't pretty. Alas, I am still trying to track down a full on face picture of Ricki from that night, but as a visual aide, I have provided a picture of a Goblin from the animated version of The Hobbit. If you put a bedazzled dress and an up swept, beehive wig monstrosity (sans horns), then you pretty much have a picture of Ricki.For Blanche, the defining moment of Ricki's routine is her rendition of song that was commissioned as a theme for Indianapolis. It is called "Indianapolis Indeed," and it was performed by Sandi Patti, who is a local, semi-famous contemporary christian/gospel singer. You don't need to bother tracking it down on iTunes. Anyway, I think you can see just how weird it is to have a drag queen perform a song made "famous" by Sandi Patti. In fact, Liberty was about to hyperventilate, which I found pretty damn funny. Ricki, bless her heart, was able to twirl around in her dress like she was 65 again, and it really was a moment not to be missed.
For me, however, the moment that capped off the night happened after everyone left and it was just Tyler and me. On Ricki's last round, her hill jack son (with a cowboy hat on), came up to dance with her. The song they chose was Lionel Richie's "Three Times a Lady." Yes you know it. The lyric goes "Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady..." Now COME on people...this stuff literally writes itself! It makes me laugh hysterically even now!
In the end, I think everyone had a great time. Illusions is actually a place that I like to go to now and then, and if I had any real complaint, it was the amount of smoke in the room. They really need a smoke eater. Also, while I have made a lot of jokes at Ricki's expense here, I really do wish her well in her retirement. She was genuinely choked up with the proceedings, and she got numerous tips from me.
Here are some pics from the night:
This is me in line to tip Ricki. She made a killing that night. I hope she can afford the drag retirement home now.
This is HR, Venus, and Stripper Mom. I have no idea who the dude is in the back.
Romeo, HR, Venus, Stripper Mom, and Blanche ... um ... what the hell are they doing?
This is me tipping the drag queen who did "I'm Tired" from Blazing Saddles. I LOVED it. Also, the girl behind me with the dazed look on her face is Ricki's granddaughter, and the hill jack with the hat is her son. You can only see see hoo ha girl's shoulder (lucky you).
Romeo shows he can still KICK! HR looks appalled...
Blanche and FitnessNerd diva out to Beyonce's "Listen"...Tyler text messages!
1 comment:
It's been nearly a week now...Better get writing!
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