November, 27, 2007 - Of Shoes and Other Things that are Incredibly Stupid

One event from Thursday night that just flashed in my mind for some unknown reason was a verbal altercation that I got into with someone Blanche was flirting with. I don't know if I was feeling surly or it just hit a sore spot or what, but I really let this guy have it for something that he said to me. Granted, what he said was blatantly rude, and while I may have a reputation for being a smart ass, I also tend to consider the source and let stupid things slide. However, I guess he hit me on bad day.

A bit of background. I've never really been a clothes horse. Yes, I try to be reasonably put together, but I have never really gone out of my way to spend a lot of money on clothes. Most of the reason for this is that for much of my adult life I have A) not been able to afford that much clothing and shoes and B) I never felt comfortable enough in my own skin to convert that into the attitude that has to go with high fashion pursuits. So, I wore clothes that blended me into the surroundings. Obviously, this changed dramatically when I started to get into shape. The sleeveless shirts came out, and I was dressing more to show off and to wow than to blend in. It certainly gave me a level of satisfaction to stick out, but it was, in its flashiness, another way for me to hide myself.

Anyway, even when I was showing off, I still never spent that much money on clothes. I would always get a great chuckle when someone would compliment a shirt that I bought for $2.99 from the clearance rack at Old Navy, even though it was probably more the fact of how it fit me than how it looked, but still, when you're standing amongst a bar full of people who take pride in the fact that they plunked down $300 on Prada sunglasses or spent $150 on a pair of Rock and Republic jeans, it is great to think you spent $40 total on your entire outfit. Don't get me started on people who insist they have to spend $40 on a pair of underwear...

One of the hardest things for me to spend money on are shoes. I will wear shoes until they no longer look fit for human use. I have a pair of chunky black Skechers that I bought, oh, at least 5 or 6 years ago for $13, and I still wear them. They look fine in a bar setting. For me, shoe buying has always been a circle of hell because I have a large foot. I wear size 13, and while I realize there are bigger feet out there, trying to find stylish shoes in my size seems to be on the same level to finding peace in the Middle East. If I had a dollar for every time I've gone into a shoe store and found a great pair of shoes, only to be told they don't have them in my size, well, I would have money to purchase those Prada sunglasses. I'm pretty much reduced to going into stores that have all the inventory out, finding a 13, and hoping to god I like them. Needless to say, I have about 4 pairs of shoes.

Anyway, getting back to the what brought on this rant. Thursday night was not a night for high fashion. I had worked all day in my bathroom, and I pretty much threw on an outfit that I felt comfortable in. It was jeans, a teeshirt, and a pair of adidas cross trainers. We were going to see a movie, to Olly's (a sports bar), and possibly Greg's, which is about as laid back a club as Indy has. This all coupled with the Thanksgiving holiday, I didn't think it was necessary to be a fashion plate. So, I was sitting at a booth at Olly's with Blanche and the person he was flirting with, and at some point, I shifted position and put my feet up on the bench. The guy looked at my shoes and white socks, and basically sneered something to the effect that he would not wear something like that to a bar. Whoa, wrong thing to say. I lit into him pretty fiercely, and I got into predatory mode where I kind of circle around in an argument to "get" someone. It is the instinct that my mother says would have made me a great lawyer. I made him show me his shoes, which were these god awful designer shoes, you know the type...they're elongated to make your foot look longer, squared off tip, and some sort of embroidery on them. They are the type of shoe that screams, "Look, I spent a zillion dollars on an ugly pair of shoes." I openly mocked his shoes, too, which I realize makes me no better than him. However, I would also NEVER go up to someone I do not know and criticize something that they are wearing, especially when I'm trying to flirt with one of his best friends.

It just really frustrates me how utterly shallow the gay community is. Yes, I know that I am not without prejudice here, but frankly, I will always feel that if someone is so concerned about what I am wearing over the contents of my mind, heart, or soul then they really do not have a place in my world. I understand that your clothes and body are just like the flashy plumage of a peacock attracting people to you, but frankly, why is it that when you get past all these feathers so many of these people are just plucked chickens with nothing left to offer than some sinew and gristle?

I do not have any solutions here, but I just wish people would wake up and realize that the clothes do not make the man.